u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
