Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
