Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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