went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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