lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
