he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
