it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I love black thongs
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
