So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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