he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
