you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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