I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
