All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
