Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
