I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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