Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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