she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
