Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
