ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
