Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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