Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
