Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize