grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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