in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
