Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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