I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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