I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I would ride that face into the sunset
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
