I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I need moral support for this bender
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
