If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
