I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
