also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
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