this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i came on her dog
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
