I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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