I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We have started to decorate penises.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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