do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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