Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
