if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
