How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
