the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
