I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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