I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
