you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
