I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
