Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
