I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
