the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
