Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name

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(203): View more from Connecticut

these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day

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(801): View more from Utah

he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?

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(806): View more from Texas

i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...

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(319): View more from Iowa

I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night

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