What did we do last night that was yellow?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
True strength comes from lack of pants
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
