it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
