She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
