he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
