Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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