I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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